Trust is one of the most valuable currencies in relationships—personal and professional. But have you ever stopped to think about how you trust? Do you lead with your head, relying on logic and evidence? Or do you trust with your heart, leaning into intuition and emotional connection?
The truth is, we need both.
There are two types of trust: cognitive trust (head trust) and affective trust (heart trust). Cognitive trust is built on logic, competence, and reliability—do they have the skills and track record to follow through? Affective trust is rooted in emotions, affinity, and shared values—do I feel safe and connected with this person?
The Elements of Trust Model aligns with this dual nature of trust:
Able (Competence) and Dependable (Reliability) = Cognitive trust
Believable (Integrity) and Connected (Caring) = Affective trust
So, how do we blend both head and heart when deciding whether to trust someone? Follow these four steps:
1. Assess the Context of the Relationship
Before deciding how much trust to extend, consider the nature of the relationship. Does this situation call for more head trust or heart trust? A work colleague may need to demonstrate competence before earning your trust, while a friend might first need to show empathy and understanding. Recognizing the right balance ensures you set realistic expectations.
2. Evaluate Their Trustworthiness
Use Blanchard’s four trust elements as your guide. Is the person Able and Dependable? Do they consistently follow through? Are they Believable, acting with integrity? Do they make you feel Connected, showing care and respect? If any of these areas are weak, trust might need to be earned more gradually.
3. Assess the Risks
Every act of trust involves risk. Consider the stakes—what’s at risk if trust is broken? What are the potential gains if trust is honored? If the downside is minimal, a leap of faith might be worth it. If the risk is high, a cautious, measured approach may be wiser.
4. Make the Call: Extend Trust
Trust is ultimately a choice. Once you’ve assessed the context, the person, and the risk, decide whether to extend trust—and at what level. Not all trust has to be all-or-nothing. Sometimes, it’s best to start small and build up as trust is reinforced.
By integrating both head and heart, we make trust decisions that are both wise and meaningful. The key is balance—leaning on logic when necessary, embracing emotion when appropriate, and knowing that trust, like any relationship, is something we build over time.
How do you decide when to trust? Do you lean more toward head trust or heart trust? Let’s continue the conversation in the comments!
